Finding Our True Selves in Therapy
“Our ‘true self’ emerges by truly experiencing and processing our emotions in the presence of a ‘true other.’”
-Diana Fosha, PhD; Developer of AEDP psychotherapy and director of the AEDP Institute
Midlife Crises and Felling Unseen
How many of us reach midlife with out having some type of existential doubt or insecurity? The term “midlife crisis” has become a cliche for good reason- there are many ways to experience midlife crisis and no two may look the same. Some involve caregiver burnout, career burnout, or just a general questioning of who we are in this life and what does it all mean. It’s so easy to get caught up in all of our responsibilities that we don’t realize how isolating midlife can be. Sitting in our aloneness isn’t just unhealthy, it is actually against our biology.
How AEDP Helps Us Heal Through Connection
There are moments in life when we don’t just feel alone—we feel unreachable. Even when surrounded by people, we can carry pain or shame so deep that it feels like no one could truly understand. This kind of emotional isolation is often at the root of suffering. In AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy), we work gently but powerfully to undo that aloneness.
At the heart of AEDP is a belief that healing happens in relationship. While traditional therapy can focus on analyzing thoughts or past behaviors, AEDP brings the focus into the present moment—into the relationship between therapist and client, and into the client’s emotional experience.
What Does “Undoing Aloneness” Mean?
Undoing aloneness isn’t just about company. It’s about feeling met. Seen. Held in your truth. When someone sits with you in your sadness or fear—not fixing, not judging, but being with—something shifts. Shame begins to melt. Emotions that once felt unbearable become tolerable, and even transformative. You start to realize: I don’t have to carry this alone.
How AEDP Works to Undo Aloneness
In an AEDP session, I may gently reflect your experience back to you, naming what I see or feel alongside you. You might hear me say things like:
“I’m really with you right now.”
“You don’t have to go through this by yourself.”
“I feel so moved by what you’re sharing.”
These aren’t just words. They’re an invitation to co-regulate, to feel safe, and to experience a new kind of emotional contact—one that repairs old wounds where no one was there, no one understood, or no one stayed.
The Science Behind It
Our nervous systems are wired for connection. When we are emotionally alone in the face of distress, our systems go into survival mode—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. But when we’re met with empathic presence, we shift into a more regulated state. This allows previously shut-down emotions to surface and be processed. In AEDP, these moments of connection are seen as transformational portals—where real, lasting change begins.
You Don’t Have to Heal Alone
If you’ve ever carried pain silently or felt like no one could understand what you’re going through, AEDP offers a different path. A path where connection is the medicine, and where the healing relationship becomes a source of strength and change.
In this space, you are no longer alone.