Managing Caregiver Burnout
“Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that happens while you’re taking care of someone else. Stressed caregivers may experience fatigue, anxiety, and depression.” -from the Cleveland Clinic health library
Are you a caregiver of someone in your family who suffers from Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia? How about cancer, Parkinson's disease, traumatic brain injury or any other condition that makes it impossible for the person to care for themselves unassisted? If so, you may be on track to suffer what is known as “caregiver burnout.” Or, you could be IN caregiver burnout and not know it. If you are in a profession in which there is a high level of stress, you are even more prone to burnout. Imagine, you are trying to do a high stress job with many obligations and responsibilities while also looking after your own children and possibly a parent who needs a similar level of care all at the same time. While caregiving and parenting may be something you feel called or honored to do, it is also ok to admit that it is also hard. So. Damn. Hard. It’s messy. It’s unpaid emotional and physical labor. It may open old wounds from childhood that you thought had long healed. It may feel like it will consume you, body and soul. And there are days that it does just that.
Caregiver burnout is real and very common. Some studies maintain that 60% of caregivers experience symptoms of burnout. If you are a caregiver and are feeling something akin to stress and depression, you may be dealing with burnout. Other symptoms may include:
emotional and physical exhaustion
withdrawal from friends, family, and other loved ones
Feeling hopeless and helpless
Changes in appetite or weight
Changes in sleep patterns
Inability to concentrate
Getting sick more often
Irritability or frustration or anger toward others.
The causes of caregiver burnout are many, and just like the symptoms, can vary from person to person. Especially when you are caring for a loved one with whom you share a complicated relationship or history. Feelings of annoyance, resentment, grief, lack of control, and difficulty with processing these feelings can all contribute to the burnout. Some of these feelings are hard to talk about, so we keep them bottled up inside, isolating ourselves for fear of judgement or loss of control. Maybe we don’t want to burden others with what we are going through. Or we tell ourselves that other people are worse off so we don’t have a right to complain. All of these feelings are valid, and deserve to be felt, heard, and seen in the company of a supportive other. We are not meant to journey through life alone, even in the good times, and when life gets hard, we need our village even more than ever.
Burnout may be a part of life for many of us. The good news is, there are ways to manage it. Some of these ways take courage and support, but I guarantee, once you learn some of these skills and get positive feedback for doing so, you are going to want to use them over and over. Protecting your peace and your mental health can become a (healthy) addiction, and it is possible to do, even when we feel overwhelmed with responsibility. You deserve to protect yourself from burnout, and here are 12 ways to help you on that journey:
🌿 1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Give yourself permission to feel sadness, anger, guilt, or frustration. Suppressing emotions can intensify burnout. Feelings do not hold a moral value, they are what they are and the only way out of them is through.
🗓️ 2. Set Boundaries
Say no to tasks that drain you or overextend your energy. Protect your time without guilt.
🤝 3. Ask for Help
Delegate where possible — even small things. Reach out to family, friends, or professional services. Do not be afraid to ask. Many people are just waiting to hear how they can help.
🧘♀️ 4. Schedule Daily Downtime
Even 10–15 minutes of solitude, journaling, or deep breathing can be restorative.
📱 5. Join a Support Group
Connecting with others going through similar experiences can provide validation and reduce isolation. An in-person support group is great, but online or virtual support group can still be enormously helpful.
💬 6. Seek Therapy or Counseling
Talking with a therapist can help you process the emotional toll of caregiving and create strategies for support. Therapy can also help you feel less alone.
⏳ 7. Use Respite Care
Temporary care options (home aides, adult day programs, short stays) allow you time to rest and recharge. Find local programs or agencies that can help.
🥗 8. Care for Your Body
Fuel your body with nourishing food, sleep, movement, and hydration — they’re essential, not optional. Get regular check ups to make sure your body is in good shape.
📖 9. Educate Yourself
Knowing what to expect with your loved one’s condition can reduce anxiety and help you feel more in control. Ask your loved one’s care team any questions you might have for them. Get to know the people and the resources that can help out in your area.
🛑 10. Drop the Perfectionism
You don’t have to do it all. “Good enough” caregiving is still loving and effective.
🎨 11. Reclaim a Hobby
Even small acts of joy — painting, puzzles, music, gardening — can restore a sense of identity beyond caregiving.
🕊️ 12. Reflect on Meaning
Reconnect with why you’re doing this. Purpose doesn’t erase exhaustion, but it can help you carry it. It is also important to remember you are NOT A FAILURE if you chose to place your loved one in skilled nursing, assisted living, etc. Sometimes it's best to let professionals take over so you can devote your time to visiting and enjoying just being with your loved one without the stress.